In the past fifteen years I’ve trained a LOT of employees. One of my biggest pet peeves has always been people who stand there while I’m training them and just shut down, lose their eyes and say “I can’t do this.”
It makes me want to scream. I will say something a hundred different ways to get someone who is trying to figure it out. But when they stand there and won’t listen or try… when they just stand there with clenched fists screaming “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND!”
It makes me want to yell. Seriously. It’s so hard to work around that. I can work through them not having a skill set. I can’t work around more negative talk than positive or trying. You know that whole lead a horse to water but can’t hold his head under it thing? Yeah… it’s like that.
There’s something I need to mention though.
I do it too.
My room mate wanted me to ride motorcycles with him when we lived in Memphis but my first shot at riding motorcycles didn’t exactly go all that great really. I was going to take a class but I was scared I’d either fall and hurt myself, or embarrass myself… even with the class. He would say how fun riding was and I’d flash back to how scared I was of screwing up and lock up.
We were driving to a movie and he asked again when I was going to take the motorcycle riding coarse and I started yelling at him about how everything was easy for him. He’d been riding his whole life and I’d never done it before… “HE JUST DIDN’T UNDERSTAND!!!” He stopped nagging me about the class and a month later got it for me for my birthday. I could go or not but he didn’t talk about it any more. He found where and when and paid for it. He didn’t go watch. I did it and you know what? I love riding now.
I was scared to do something new and I was scared I’d be embarrassed in front of people. It helped that he wasn’t there to watch me learn how. I can totally understand people not wanting to be embarrassed in front of people they know. I try so hard to help encourage people when they’re wearing the shoes I was wearing that day… the day I was the one yelling “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND!” I’ve been there. I’ve been the irrational one insisting that they didn’t get it.
I don’t know why I do it… I wish I could say “DID” it but I’m told I’m not totally cured of it yet. On the plus side if I start stone-walling now my roommate wails at me, quite dramatically, “YOU JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND!” That tends to help jerk me out of my stone-walling.
If any of you have tips on how to turn can’t into can I’d live to hear them and I promise… I DO UNDERSTAND!
The I can’t stand can’t… by Rich Griffith, unless otherwise expressly stated, is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.
