simplerich

So, my Kindle Fire developed a weird screen thing where the screen would shoot vertical lines through it and then go black. In the dark you could sometimes see it was half the blacker-than-black from between scanlines on a TV and the other half was a dark gray. But the screen wasn’t viewable. Just the slightest tweak, or holding it ONLY on the left side would fix the problem stutteringly. Then it would stay OK for a while. Other times it’d be touchy and seemed not willing to stay on at all. Still other times it would go a negative so white was black and black was white. blue was red, etc. It was a negative… you know what that is. It got worse over time. I didn’t have a lot of time so I didn’t do much with it.

Finally tonight I went through the steps on amazon to do a return and got a message saying, “Can’t just return this item punk! You gotta talk to someone in a foreign country who is awake this late.” or words to that effect. With great trepidation I called the 800 number and got someone whose name I didn’t understand but his name was NOT “Peggy” and he did NOT tell me I couldn’t turn my airline miles into cash.

It was a guy, with an accent yes, but he was super friendly. Very helpful and never once asked if I’d dropped it, thrown it across the room, left it in a car overnight when it was eleven-degrees outside, shipped it across the country twice in a shoe box or anything else that might cause problems. He simply apologized for the problem and asked where to ship the replacement item. I told him and while we were talking an e-mail showed up with a link to print a shipping label. When the new one arrives I’m to put the broken one in the box, hand it to any UPS driver or store and toddle off to enjoy the replacement item.

No muss. No fuss. Free 2 day shipping to me. They couldn’t have been nicer, more solicitous, helpful, cooperative, or excellent to deal with. Seriously. I can’t imagine anything he could have done to make the experience more pleasant.

To answer your unanswered question: Would I still recommend someone get a Kindle Fire? The answer is absolutely YES if you have wi-fi at your home or work. If you don’t have wi-fi it’d be a harder sell for me. But with the wi-fi I have available to me at home, work, and the coffee shop it’s as good as always on for me.  I love it for movies, facebook, comics, and reading websites. I don’t love it for books because the battery doesn’t last 2 weeks like my Kindle 3. But I like it for books at night when the lights are out and I don’t want to turn on a table lamp.

Thank you Amazon.

Once upon a time there was a digital music service that would provide corporate music with commercials sent to the stores on a monthly subscription service so there was some sort of corporate identity thing along with the sound of the shopping experience. If you’ve ever been to a Fazolis you’ve encountered it for sure.

So, I’m at a store not listening to the background music… that’s what it’s for. It’s in the background… and then I heard it… they lyrics to Bob Dylan’s Hurricane:

And to the black folks he was just a crazy nigger
No one doubted that he pulled the trigger

Do you care to guess what the first word I heard was and what the next words were? Just on a guess?

Now, the song’s about… I’ll let songfacts.com say what it’s about:

This is about Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, a boxer who spent 19 years in jail for a murder Dylan felt he did not commit.

That’s the short version. The longer version is a black man was convicted (his conviction was eventually overturned) of killing some white people and his jury was made up of all white people… in 1966. Bob Dylan didn’t think he did it and wrote this song to draw attention to the injustice of the situation and hopefully do something to get Rubin “Hurricane” Carter, out of prison.

That’s all very cool But that’s not the part of the song anybody who has heard it today hears. What they/we hear is,

“crazy nigger No one doubted that he pulled the trigger.”

So, I’m not asking if it’s legal to play the song or if it’s a good song. I happen to believe protest songs and such are a powerful tool for change. I happen to think this song is NOT a bad song. It’s not all that entertaining or anything, but it’s a protest song it’s not supposed to be fun. I’m not even going to debate if it’s still topical today or applicable, especially when crap like this is happening where power-crazy police attack minorities (disabled lady in this article) just because they like the power. (no implication of racism here for obvious reasons.)

What I’m asking is, just because someone CAN play a song does it mean they should? What does it say about them when they do that? Does it say anything? If I were listening to the lyrics from the start of the song it wouldn’t be shocking. If it were a contemporary song getting enough radio play that I’d recognize it if I came in during the middle of the song it wouldn’t be an issue… but no radio station is playing this song with any regularity in 2011 and almost nobody 40 or under is going to recognize the song at all even if they’re told the name and who younger than thirty would know who Bob Dylan is/was?

Is it good judgement to play that song? Is it OK for the employees to sing along with the music on their corporate radio? Is it OK for them to sing at the top of their lungs the names of this song? If it’s not… should they choose to play that song? Bob Dylan’s use of the words is protected as freedom of speech. It’s being used artistically. But the same word can be used during the course of a crime and change it from a simple assault to a hate crime… when a word carries that much baggage with it is it a good idea to identify one’s self with it or, if someone complains about it, to defend it’s usage?

I’m a big advocate of the freedom of speech… some battles though I ask myself “are they worth fighting?” What is gained by their insisting on playing this not terribly entertaining song in their stores?

Today at work a customer I’d never seen before came in and we were talking.  He was from out-of-town and new to the area. We talked about what brought him here and he was telling me about his current business venture. Which got him talking about past ones.

Evidently at some point he had a business where his job was to empty apartments.(I remember where I’m being discrete.) In one job, a big one, he knew the guy doing the check writing. He was being paid by a big corporation, we’ll say it was MTV just to be interesting. Maybe they bought a block of buildings and needed them emptied so they could use them for something. Maybe he was being paid by container of crap he hauled out. Maybe his truck would hold 16 containers at a time full… but maybe they billed, say, MTV for FORTY per truck load and they split the money, this guy talking to me and the guy writing the checks.

He was bragging to me about more than double billing a company (It’s a sizable company) for the work he did. He paused expectantly. I sipped my green tea and looked at him. He made a sort of “enh? enh?” noise, looking for a response.

“Aren’t you glad I actually gave you what you paid for when you gave me the money? I suppose I could have defrauded you of half of what you’d paid for. But we don’t call that good business here in Iowa. We call it stealing.” I took another sip of tea, looking over the rim of my tea-cup and feeling like Wesley Crusher in that episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation (Justice) where he said, “I’m with Star Fleet. We don’t lie.”)

“Yah, well, they’d under cut me. They’d paid less than was standard!” He said, defensively.

“You didn’t have to take the job. I’m not going to argue with you. If you want to brag about stealing that’s fine. It takes all types. Just don’t expect me to think it’s good or think I’ll ever do business with you. I’ll probably warn everybody I know to avoid you like the plague. Thank you for showing me your work truck out front when you got here. I’ll remember the name.”

“You can’t go slandering me!”

“I wouldn’t dream of telling them anything you haven’t told me yourself,” I indicated the three video cameras aimed at him and sipped more tea, “on camera where audio and video are being recorded.” I took another sip of tea while he pulled his pants up as if girding himself or gathering up his dignity. I’m not sure what all the belt tugging is supposed to do honestly, but he looked at me like I’d just called him an insulting name.

“It’s business. People do it all the time.”

“I’ve been in this business 16 years and not done it. You appear to not be in either that business or that state any more. One of us is doing things for the long-term and one of us isn’t.” I sipped my tea, “But seriously. I’m not arguing with you. I’m just not recommending you. Was there something I could help you find? I promise to charge you what’s on the price tag and not a penny more, other than tax.”

He left.

Now. I could have kept my mouth shut. I do that sometimes when people are being political I smile and nod and send them on their way. I do it when they’re talking sports… I didn’t want anybody in the store listening to him and me to think I agreed with that type of business and I sure as heck didn’t want him thinking I thought that sort of nonsense was OK. He was gross… and yes. I’m being judgmental.

Sometimes I’m slow.

I’ve noticed something and I’ve never read a book on it or heard anybody tell me to do this. I think I stumbled on it by accident and I swear I don’t do it on purpose. Have you ever tried to talk someone out of buying something only to have them spend more? It happens… more than it should.

A customer comes up to the counter with some stuff. Two of the things they have are so similar as to be indistinguishable from each other. Perhaps, two boxes of screws one with a closer thread than the other, but otherwise identical. I point this out. “Excuse me, but really, with what you’ve got here. You don’t need this one at all. It is the same thing. See.” Go on to show them. We then get into conversation about the other stuff they’re buying. I’ve opened the door to conversation and appeared helpful. Here’s where it falls apart.

After talking them OUT of a sale and losing myself money… anything I suggest next, even if it’s more expensive… they’ll do it 9 times out of 10. If there’s a widget that’s just a little better than the one they’re already getting and I suggest it, even if it’s more… and I mean more than the original ticket with the item that I talked them out of, they’ll buy it… because they trust me. Because I talked them out of an item. Because I saved them money. Now I’m a good guy, on their side. I wouldn’t screw them. I’ve already demonstrated that by talking them out of something and saving them money… right?

The first time it happened I thought, “That’s odd.” Then it happened a few more times by accident. I wasn’t doing it on purpose. Then I showed my assistant manager one day and he was like, “What are you doing talking them OUT of an item?” I pointed out the final ticket was more and he was all, “Ooooooooooh.” He’s since tried it and it doesn’t work for him. He’s able to talk them out of the first item, but not into the subsequent items. I suggested it was because he was too pushy, that he acted more like he was trying to sell them something than help them find something.

He said, “But you sell them things,” and I said yes, “But I really try not to. Haven’t you seen me continue to try to talk people out of things as I carry it to the counter and put it with their other stuff and ask, over and over again ‘Now, you’re sure?’ as they buy it?” I don’t want them to feel buyer’s remorse. I try to talk them out of things I think they won’t like… sometimes they talk me into selling it to them, and in so doing… they talk themselves into it. Then, if it turns out to not be right… they can come back and you know what? Instead of being mad at me for selling them something they didn’t like I’ve built more trust by trying to talk them out of it. They’ll say it even, “You were right!” And from there on they’ll listen.

It was funny the first few times it happened. Now it’s just scary. When has it happened to me? When has a salesman gotten my trust by talking me out of something and then talked me into something else later? I’ll bet car salesmen all know this trick. No to heated seats in the economy car, but yes to the Hummer 3 and I’m all. “Derpa Derpa Derpa OK.” *drool*glassy-eyed stare*

So, what do I do now that I’ve found this heinous opposite-world power? The most recent time it worked I really was trying to talk the customer out of stuff. They were charging it and they shouldn’t have been. Credit-Card-Company One has terrible interest rates and these people were spending too much. I talked them out of stuff… and then… and then things started going wrong. They’d ask follow-up questions on other items and wind up buying them. DAMN MY INNATE CHARM!

So, seriously. If a salesman ever tries to talk you out of something, LET HIM, and then run away. He’s dangerous because you’re going to be tempted to trust him and he’s a salesman. We’re not to be trusted… even when we’re trying to do right by you,  and I always am. I never want to take all a customer’s money. I’d rather get ten dollars a week for the rest of their life than 100 dollars once. I’m in this for the long haul.

(PS: This happens more with women than with men who aren’t susceptible to my talking them out of things at all. But I bet a lady could do it to a guy… and yes. I know saying there are gender differences is not done but generalities can be true without being discriminatory.)

A comment from my last post inspired this post. Hat tip to Vox.

… I decided when I was a teenager that retail isn’t for me…

I would have never thought I’d like retail either, much less middle management in retail, but I do and it got me thinking about what I love about both.

Retail, I’m in something of a specialty store, not a big box store or a supermarket type store. If you come to my store you’re coming here on purpose. It’s similar to a Hallmark store. If you go to a Hallmark store you’re going for a card. If you go to a bookstore you are probably looking for something to read. This type retail environment is probably a little different from a big box store or one of the major retail outlet stores.

My challenge here, as I see it, is to generate not only new customers, but repeat customers. There are a lot of managers and sales people out there who seem to believe that they can best serve their store by getting as much money as they can right then. They’ll almost always suggest the most expensive counter top or the service plan that costs almost half as much as the widget they’re selling. I’ve been through that as a customer and it annoys me. It makes me feel like they’re treating me like a wallet to drain, not a customer to help.

I read somewhere (Not here, but they talk about it here too.), and I wish I could find the source, that a manager of a hardware store told his employees nobody wants a drill. They want a hole in their wall and it’s our job to help them get the hole in the wall as easily as possible. If they’re never going to want another hole in their wall there’s no reason to sell them the DeWalt Deluxe Drill Set 2000 with 180 diamond tipped drill bits and 17 year service plan. All they need is a cheap drill and the right sized drill bit. They don’t want either one. They just want that hole in their wall. If we help them do it without leaving them feeling screwed they’ll choose us over our competitor who tries to wring every dollar out of them on that one visit. We might not make as much per visit, but we’ll get more visits and that will win in the long run. I totally buy into that.

I’m known for sending customers to other stores if I not only don’t have what they’re after but can’t get it. I’ll try and get it. I’ll call our buyer in front of the customer if possible and try and get it and an estimate of when it will arrive. I do everything I can to get the customer what they want in our store, but if I can’t I will send them where they can get it. My hope is that in the future they’ll come to me first and I’ll have what they want. I’ve helped customers get jobs, and make connections to help them with whatever it is they’re planning at the time. Things far beyond the scope of my job or the scope of the store itself. But, they come back. They tell their friends that this is the place to go to get what they want.

I’d rather they left spending a little but happy than spending a lot and being almost happy.Buyer’s remorse is a tough thing. I’ve been through it. Add a high pressure salesman to it and you can wind up resenting the merchant as much as you do the doo-dad that you got home only to find you didn’t need a 78 speed juicer with pulp incinerator after all, a food processor would have been just fine and about one-fourth as much money.

Customer: a person who purchases goods or services from another; buyer; patron.
- from Dictionary.com

The challenge to me in the retail is the customer relationships. I like to build those. Yes. There are certainly customers out there who think the customer is always right and that if they buy a SparkleMaster5000 and then exchange it 14 times for other shiny geegaws that I won’t figure out they quit being a customer when they quit paying. That’s the thing. A customer spends money. If they’re not spending or intending to spend, or trying to spend they’re not a customer. They’re creatively loitering. Do some people take advantage of my hopefully exceptional customer service tendencies? Sure they do. On the whole those people are easy to figure out pretty quickly, and they can be dealt with differently because, again… they’re not a customer. The first word in “Customer Service” is “Customer.” If they aren’t trying to be the first part I probably won’t bust my butt for the second part. But that’s never my default assumption.

The management part will wind up being a second post after this one.