simplerich

Once upon a time I created a monkey list and it was ambitious but doable… It never got off the ground. Well, that’s not true. I did buy the calendar… I just never put any check marks on it as I did the things. Which left me with the feeling I wasn’t getting them done. Stupid screaming monkeys in the back of my head nagging me, pestering me, giving me this feeling of “You’re not doing the things you’d publicly committed to doing! You’re a failure! You suck! You’re a pretentious faker with your fancy pants blog and your blah blah blah…” My inner voice is kind of a jerk sometimes.

I’m reading the book, The Spark, from the creator of Sparkpeople.com.  One of the first things it says to do is to write your goals, physically write them down and put them where you can see them. This is important for two reasons. One, so you remember to stay focused on them, and in my case, so I can remember that there IS progress being made. I started this post as an apology. I couldn’t remember my list and in my head… with that voice up there talking to me I felt like I’d dropped the ball and had this chronic public failure thing going through my head. It was really bugging me. So, I came on here to apologize and start over with a smaller list. Then I looked at the list.

• Half an hour of yoga at least five days a week.
• At least 3 crossword puzzles a week.
• Read at least half an hour with an hour being better for relaxation. Not work related reading.
• Start running again.
• Get down to 165lbs and stay there for a while. I went from 205 to 175 but want another 10lbs.
• Cook and eat at home at least twice as often as I eat out… at least!
• Get my bike running.
• Finish my novel.

Holy crap! I’ve done most of the list! I’ve put the ones in bold that I’ve completed… “Get my bike running” is half in bold because I’m almost there with that one. lol The Crosswords & Yoga. I haven’t done them at all. I also quit smoking, something I hadn’t added to the original list because I was ashamed to admit I’d started again after having quit for five years.

My goodreads goal of reading 40 books this year is still on track. I’m ahead of schedule and that’s OK. Some of my books were short so probably shouldn’t count. I think some ppl doing this are only counting those really cool books that they don’t care if ppl see they read. I’m counting fiction too… really good fiction in some cases. Dan Wells’ “I’m Not A Serial Killer” series is really good! But not something I’d want to read in an airport. Also not one I’d take with me if I were meeting a mentor so they’d see what I was reading. Reading’s funny that way isn’t it? There are those books we all think we SHOULD be reading… and then there’s our guilty pleasure books. Why do we feel guilty for having a good read? Get over it! It doesn’t ALL have to be “Saving The World in 3 Easy Steps!” Sometimes it’s OK to read about the Zombie Apocalypse, and since my goal was escapist non-work reading I’m actually following my goal on that one!

For the weight loss thing, I’m back on Sparkpeople.com managing my fitness and trying to stay on track there. I really like that site. The articles, the stupid points you can get… the spark-streaks (like the seinfeld calendar, but online). I call them stupid points because they’re stupid… and I love them. It’s a constant stream of positive reinforcement for doing things I should be doing anyway. It makes it a game almost to score points. Life as a game that I can get points in I like. The more I work out the more points I get. The more food I log the more points I get. (Granted, the part where I want to log healthy food is on me. I COULD log bags and bags of chips and get as many points as if I logged a salad and some fruit. The important part for me is the logging. Just paying attention helps me make better choices.)

Maybe I’ll get on the Crosswords and maybe I won’t.  Maybe I”ll keep up with the yoga on the non-running days, but the five days a week I know won’t happen. I won’t make the time for it. I’ve taken them off the list by lining them out. They don’t get erased. They can still be there to remind me for later maybe… but the lined out part means they’re not on my list so no pressure to doing them or not. When doing yoga becomes a stressor something’s gone horribly wrong lol.

So, instead of apologizing for being a failure on my Monkey-list I’m going to say to all of you who have long to do lists… Write them down, remember to re-evaluate them periodically, and that David Allen Guy is right… out of your head and onto paper. If for no other reason to get the stress thing out of your head. I feel SO much better now that I look at the list and realize that my inner jerk is a rotten liar! My next blog post will talk a bit about my inner jerk and a teacher I had that made a huge difference to me. She’s dead now so no chance she’ll see this, and that’s too bad.

On Saturday, May 15, 2010 I ran my first race ever. I’ve been running since September 12, 2009. I started running then doing the Couch to 5k (C25k) program on my sister’s suggestion. I started the running with the goal to not only complete the C25k program, but when spring got here to run a 5k race in under half an hour. That was my goal. Short term, complete C25k, mid-range goal, complete a 5k race in under half an hour. On Saturday I completed my first 5k race, a Charity race for the Des Moines, IA Ronald McDonald House, the Run for Ronald 2010 5k/10k race in 29:00 minutes.

On the right you see me in my running outfit minus my hat. I also wore my Memphis Riverkings hat. That hat means something to me because I got it when a season ticket holder for the Memphis Riverkings. I had a lot of fun going to those games. (The hat shows up in the second picture, below) It was a good time of my life. The red shirt here, that’s Honda red for a friend of mine who wears red a lot more than I do. You see the giant Garmin watch there? That was a Christmas gift from my best friend of the past 20 years. I wear it whenever I run outside. The ring I’m wearing on my left hand, that’s for luck and it’s in my pocket but there. The bib number, great first racing bib number, 88… that’s the year I went into the Navy. That was a pretty significant year for me in a lot of ways.

This race was, for me, the completion of 8 months of work. No, it wasn’t a marathon. But it was me setting a goal and sticking to it. I wound up running the race by myself, my friends weren’t able to be there and that was, at that point, just the icing on the cake. The part where I ran the race I’d set myself up to run was good. That was the cake right there. I ran the whole thing with a slight smile. Not just because the weather was perfect and the atmosphere of the race itself was fun, but because I was doing something I’d worked for and that I loved.

Doing something like that for myself, that much work, time, and sticking to it… that meant a lot to me. It does today, 2 days later. I’ve been trying to think of what is next, and I think right now next is to keep running and maybe do some more 5k’s. Summer’s coming, and it’s hot in the summer, and I’ve already noticed how much harder it is to run in the summers. I’m not done running. I love it. But this first race, this first goal that I set 8 months ago, and completed, for that I’m proud of myself. To those of you who supported me, put up with my running breaks, or my being late to places because I was running. To you, thank you.

Specific thanks to specific sites and online tools that I’ve used:
Couch to 5k, already mentioned, but a great training program.
5k101 has some great podcasts for running and training for a 5k. I still use them.
Active.com is full of tips for runners and is how I found which race I’d run first.
Twitter – I had lots of support from friends on twitter as I’d post my running times and progress.
SparkPeople – Great weight loss and fitness site that kept me focused on my diet while I learned how to eat while running.
DailyMile – this is where I log my runs. It’s a great site and I recommend it to anybody who exercises (Running, Biking, Swimming, Walking specifically)

Specific thanks to specific people:
My parents for being supportive, and teaching me that I could do what I wanted to do. The idea that I could do whatever I set my mind to if I just worked at it really impacts me in every way almost every day. I really don’t meet that many things that I think I can’t do. My confidence comes from them and that and I appreciate it and how much it’s impacted my life. I may be scared to try sometimes because I’m scared of not getting it right the first time, but I never believe I CAN’T do something if I work at it. That feeling is, as I meet more people, something a lot of people don’t have. A lot of folks out there don’t believe they can do much of anything and they limit themselves. You hear people say “My parents said I could be anything…” but I don’t remember my parents saying that. I don’t actually believe that either. I remember them teaching us that we could DO anything we were willing to work at. That’s an important difference. (I say that and internally flinch at what they went through when I made up my mind to be bad at math ugh, another story for another time.)

Kit, my roommate, best friend, and friend I’ve had the longest. I know you thought running was a ridiculous thing to do and that the times I was late to friends’ soccer games or parties or family events because I was running you made my explanations for me. You taught me to ride a motorcycle (something I was afraid of doing because I thought I’d crash and/or die), and always push me to do things even if I may not do them right the first time. You’re good at holding my feet to the fire and expecting more out of me even when I’m being stubborn. I said once that I like who I am better when you’re around than when you’re not and I mean it. I like who I’ve become by being your friend. Thank you.

My sister, Leigh. I’ve already done a whole blog post on how much I appreciate her and what she means to me. I’m not going to duplicate it here but I’d have been remiss if I’d not mentioned her here.

(This post is a double post, being posted to my simplerich.com blog as well as my running blog.)

I’ve been running a lot lately. I started running and training using the Couch to 5k training method back on Sept. 12, 2009. Up until that point I’d never really run all that much.

Work wasn’t worth a damn. It was a job but honestly, with the computer system as busted as it was (and when your automated re-order system doesn’t work and you’re in retail things go downhill fast), it wasn’t a career any more. It was a way to get paid for the first long time in years. Yes. There had been periods of ennui before, but this was new and appeared to be chronic.

I started running to run. I wasn’t consciously running away from work. I wasn’t running towards anything. I was just running. Today while I was running at the end of my mini-vacation I was thinking about going back to work. I got more tense with every step. I have a headache right now. I’m pretty sure it’s a tension headache about returning to work.

Honestly tomorrow I go back to work and I’d rather run. Not because of the work but because of the weather. This is part of my job frustration this winter. I have to travel, by car, for work and I travel a LOT. Tomorrow I’m supposed to drive to Omaha… the weather forecast is for an ice-storm that lasts at least one day and maybe two.

It’s the first day back from vacation and I have to go to work. I get that… the problem is that I’m not going to be able to do the travelling I need to do and that will stress me. It will also stress my boss and that will stress me. Now, the obvious option is I telecommute. I can totally do my job from home a day or two safely and efficiently… and my boss will accuse me of ditching work and just wanting to stay home. That part stresses me too.

So. I get to go back to work. I’m tired of this winter. It’s an additional stress on top of an already stressful year. I’m just not in the mood. Winter has to get the heck out of here. It’s starting to stress me out.

Oh, and the running? It’s still going really well. I need to train FOR something and I haven’t nailed that down yet but I’m still going. No standing still.

The Chinese New Year isn’t for a while yet, but I’m going to stick with the Tiger imagery anyway.

I’m reading The Spark right now, a book that I will review in much more detail later. It will be a weekend post since I agreed to do book reviews on weekend posts. One of the primary themes of the book is that lifestyle changes, whether they be fitness changes, dietary changes, business changes, motivational changes, any kind of personal, internal change, is best made incrementally with a string of small victories building to a larger change. The pyramids aren’t climbed in one step. They’re made up of many steps that are, by themselves doable goals that lead to something magnificent.

So, towards that end 2010’s goals are going to be many, short and medium length goals, that will set up a chain of successes leading to a bigger over all destination of larger success. The advantage is if there is a set-back it’s not a set-back on the huge, overall goal. It’s a set-back on one tiny portion of the goal. That’s not as soul-crushing as blowing a giant goal. As someone who quit smoking 5 times before having one stick I know what it’s like to slip once and blow the whole kit and kaboodle!

When I quit smoking (6/15/2005) I didn’t quit forever. I quit cold-turkey and quit for the rest of the drive home. Then I quit until the following morning. That next morning I quit until lunch. (I didn’t smoke in between those quits, those were just my goals… like getting a first down rather than going for touch down every play.) You can see the pattern. Mentally staring down the barrel of a forever quit was too daunting. I’ve said before I’m a sprinter, not a marathoner and that is still true today, even when I run (Not that I’m a sprinter either as it turns out. I raced a 16 year old a while back at the campgrounds and he beat me like an old rug. I should have tripped him. He’s young. He’d heal!) So I’m going to follow The Spark’s advice and make a chain of small achievable goals.

Just because a goal is small and achievable doesn’t mean it’s a gimme goal. We recently had an Ownership Thinking workshop at my work and someone set forth as our first goal to do something that was not only 70% complete all ready it wasn’t something we could fail on. It was an assignment. There was no challenge to it. It was a gimme goal and it didn’t mean anything when we accomplished it. It was like having every team member get a trophy after a game where nobody kept score. We didn’t care about it as a first step in the Ownership Thinking program because it was as much an accomplishment or challenge as putting on our socks. That’s not what I’m talking about by small goals. (Things improved after that by the way.)

My Goals for 2010 follow, in no particular order:

• Minimum 10 Minutes of cardio every day with no days off. (Yes it’s low, but it’s doable and constant and I will do more most days. Do YOU do this much a day outside of basal movement?)
• Finish SparkPeople’s 28-day bootcamp that starts January 3, 2010.
• Run a 5k road race in spring in under 30 minutes.
• Run a 10k road race in the fall. (Time to be determined when I know what’s reasonable)
• Make at least two positive blog posts a week in any of the three blogs I’m currently maintaining. (simplerich.com, simplerunner, and my fitness blog over on SparkPeople.)
• Hit and maintain a healthy BMI by February and keep it through the year. (BMI = Body Mass Index)

You’ll notice an absence or work related goals on there. That’s no entirely an accident. I’ve asked my managers, I have 11 of them now rather than 8. I got three more stores to manage last week. I’ve asked them to get me a list of their goals for the month and year. I’ve also asked them to let me know what areas we as a company most need improvement, what areas I can help them the most, and what they would do if a) They owned their store and what they would change on the first day it was theirs, and b) what they would change tomorrow if there were no rule or policy against it. I’m going to use these to formulate my goals this year. It’s going to be a somewhat bottom up approach to managing this year, but I’m going to try it and see what happens. I’ll still be their manager obviously, but I’m definitely not going to be the only one driving this ship this year. I’ve got to do my job differently than the way I have been. I’ve got too many stores for me to continue doing it the way I was doing it. I finally realized the reason I was so burning out was that I was trying to manage the 8 stores I had the same way I was doing things when I had 5 stores and it was just too overwhelming. Then add to it the insane policy changes and I’m not alone in thinking they’re insane but there you have it… Anyway. Things had to change.

So, my goals that you see here are mostly about me and my fitness. My assumption is, if I take care of those things that work will take care of itself. That’s not as sloughing off work as it sounds. I just believe that I need these things to get me out of the death spiral I was in most of last year with work when I focused on work more than anything else and it wasn’t a healthy balance at all. By the end of the year I would have said “Thank you” if I’d lost my job. I’d have handed my boss the keys and hugged him in appreciation. I would have changed my phone number and never missed those calls again. That is NOT a healthy place for someone to be who is as high up as I am in the company. Attitudes are contagious and it was exhausting to try and be upbeat and positive when all I wanted to do was go home and lay under the covers and hope it all would just go away. I don’t feel like that now. But I did.

So, by focusing outside the spiral, by taking my eyes off the thing that was making me crazy I’m going to work on non-work goals as a primary focus and let work be my job again for a while and not my life. Because you know… as lives go… it wasn’t terribly rewarding there for a while. I think it will be better now that I’m remembering it’s a job, not a wife or husband. It’s a career, not the way I define who I am. I’m not my job. That’s I guess my only work related goal in 2010. Remember that my job is not me.

You’re wondering what this has to do with Tigers.  Tiger’s symbolically are representative of Power, Generosity, Illumination, and Energy and my goal in 2010 is to exemplify as many of those as I can in my personal and work life. To me personally the tiger is all about movement, and the energy of a coiled spring or the pent energy of a crouching tiger about to unfold into a long, lithe orange and black missile aimed at something. Their muscles ripple under their coat as they run and their eyes are fixed on their prize as they tear across the landscape. 2010 I want to have that kind of energy, that kind of feel to it. I envision 2010 as the year I reaffirm myself as interested in myself and developing myself and not just trying to go through the motions.