simplerich

The Best Cigarette by Billy Collins (1)

There are many that I miss
having sent my last one out a car window
sparking along the road one night, years ago.

4 years ago today I quit smoking. That’s over 29,000 cigarettes I have not smoked, saving around $6k and gaining about 15lbs. (12 of which I’ve lost in the past 2 months)

If I had known when I lit my first cigarette how hard it would be for me to quit 8 years later I hope I wouldn’t have lit it. The first cigarette was easy to not smoke. Heck. The first pack wasn’t easy to smoke. I only smoked if I had been drinking. After enough of those it became easier to smoke even when I hadn’t had a drink.

I quit several times using the patch and I have to tell you… that was my favorite way to quit but not the most effective way. As I said… I quit several times that way. The patches dose of nicotine gave me almost hallucinatory quality dreams. I don’t take hallucinogens so I’m only guessing but the dreams that were a side effect of the patch were interesting and fun. Surprisingly if I could go back to smoking I wouldn’t, but if I could go back to a patch that would give me the dreams I would in a minute. Sadly, I’m so unused to nicotine at this point that I am sure I would feel nicotine poisoned and sick with even the lowest dosage. So, I don’t use the patch and I don’t smoke… and haven’t for four years today.

I see kids start smoking today and know that nothing anybody says could have talked me out of smoking and I know that nothing I will say will stop them from smoking, but I say it anyway. I won’t buy their smokes and I don’t let them smoke in my car (I’m 40, when I say kids smoking that age goes way higher than it did when I was a kid of 20 so don’t think I’m talking about 10 year olds!).

It’s been a strange four years. I moved from Des Moines, IA to Memphis, TN and then from there to Ft. Dodge, IA. I got a promotion, then a demotion, and changed office locations 4 times. My Dad had brain surgery to remove a tumor, and the company I worked for changed ownership 4 times. In all that time and with all that stress I didn’t smoke.

So, if  you’re out there now thinking about quitting smoking. Do it. Don’t wait for things to get better or for their to be less stress. Life’s not like that. Just quit now. This might not be the quit that sticks, but it certainly won’t be if you don’t try it. It’s OK to quit more than once as long as you keep quitting. There will come a point when you’re tired of it and when the switch inside your head is thrown and at that point you’ll be quit and later you’ll be able to sit and have a morning cup of coffee without reaching for the pack. You’ll hear the crinkle of cellophane without thinking it’s a new pack. You’ll be able to get in your car and start it without cracking the window to let the smoke out. You CAN quit, all you have to do is start quitting.

(1) Billy Collins’ poem, “The Best Cigarette.” Read the rest of his poem here or you can listen to it here.